When you think of sadomasochism, one spontaneously thinks of whips, pain, lacquer and leather. That alone would be a bit clichéd, however. Because SM is about a lot more. Anyone who has ever blindfolded or handcuffed their partner during sex has already had their first experiences with SM.
Most SM learners are primarily interested in playing with dominance and submission. Surrender, power and submission, sweet torment and lustful release - all of this definitely has its erotic appeal.
For some people, however, it is precisely the pain that is felt that increases sexual pleasure. There are physical reasons for this: The pain center and the pleasure center are close together in the brain. The pain releases endorphins in the brain, hormones similar to opium, which cause a state of intoxication.
Important: SM only works if there is absolute trust between the partners. Because SM sex in particular requires that you respect each other. No matter which of the following ideas undefined for SM beginners you want to test, whether bondage or spanking: Only what both like is allowed. This is extremely important here, because together we are ready to cross borders.
So please do not pretend to be interested in sexual practices just for the sake of your partner if you do not feel any inclination - or at least curiosity! Women in particular "like" to be persuaded to do things because they want to prove their love for their partner. But one thing is certain: love - and relationships - are only good if they both enjoy.
Both partners agree on a story and a role distribution for this type of game. Often it is about dominance and submission, sometimes also about humiliation. Since this can be explosive, a time frame and of course the "safeword" is set beforehand. This is a code word that the game must stop immediately when used. This is the only way to ensure that the partner is respected in his whole personality again after the role play.
A popular role-playing game, for example, is the maid's game. The submissive partner wears the clothes of a maid and must follow the instructions of his master and be available for various tasks. From household chores to love service, anything is possible.
Role-playing games with dominatrix and subjects, students and teachers, or kidnapping scenarios are also popular. Of course, you can also just invent your very own "script" and play it scene by scene.
Utensils for dominance games are, for example, handcuffs or shackles for bondage games or gags. Important: The gagged person must get enough air, that means: absolutely leave the nose free!
A certain object, material or part of the body has a strong erotic effect on a fetishist. This can be a female foot or a black transparent bra, so well-known desires. Of course there are also more unusual fetishes: lacquer and leather, a chastity belt or a maid outfit.
Also popular with Bizarre fans: rubber sex with rubber suits and masks, which only makes sense if both partners are aroused by this material. A rubber suit always gives both partners an interesting body feeling. You just break a sweat. But some like that too ...
Opinions are divided on bondage games or bondage: For many Bizarre fans, bondage is no SM at all, for others it is the ultimate SM kick. They are tied up with handcuffs, ropes or scarves. But be careful: do not lace too tight, otherwise your hands and feet will become numb. The most comfortable are padded leather cuffs.
The pleasure for the tied up person is that they can completely sink into their feelings and accept what their partner does with them. A special variety is the x-shaped St. Andrew's cross. This means that the submissive part is tied with spread legs and arms outstretched, for example to the bedpost.
Hitting - that sounds brutal. Therefore, it is particularly important to set the limits and the type of strokes beforehand. How? With a preliminary talk. There is no other way. It is determined with what and how firmly is struck. Sometimes people hit with the flat of the hand ("spanking") or accessories such as whips are used.
The less painful show whips with soft and particularly wide leather straps and variants made of velvet or rubber are suitable for newbies. Good to know: the thinner the straps, the more painful the blows.
Some beaten people like the show effect, the crack of the whip, rather than the burning sensation that the lash leaves on the skin. The preferences are varied. If you haven't had any practice with a whip, you should first test how hard the blows are on your own body. Important: sensitive areas such as kidneys, liver, ovaries and lymph must not be hit!
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